What if being grateful isn’t enough?

What if I’m meant for so much more?

By all appearances, Alexis Leigh had everything—a top-tier education, a successful career, a lovely home, a beautiful family and community. But it all started to unravel in a single moment, when she was forced to acknowledge a quiet, scary truth: Just beneath the goodness of her life lay profound sadness and loneliness.

From that moment, Alexis knew she had to start unearthing the buried pain of her childhood. And she had to let go of the life she knew to do it.

In Pain Is a Portal to Beauty, Alexis shares the raw, deeply personal story of navigating her heartbreaking divorce, the unresolved grief of losing her mother, her use of psychedelics as a path to healing, and her quest to find new love.

As she began to embrace her pain, Alexis was stunned to discover miracle after miracle. Gifts she never knew she had. The freedom and power to follow her longings. Deep and rich intimacy. What she couldn’t have known at the start of her journey was that welcoming her pain—instead of running from it—would bring her to life.